The figs were delicious this time of year. It was still early enough for them to be both tart and sweet, but not the sticky sweetness of over-ripeness. They melted in your mouth this time of year. Livia had been saving up all year for the chance to buy some--what little she could save of her mean wages. She was going to buy a basket at the market this morning and share them with Caecilia tonight after supper.
Her whole body ached. She had been pulled suddenly out of bed, dragged through the halls and out into the yard, where those terrible men had...had…
Livia closed her eyes and hid her face into the soft fabric of her savior’s shirt. Her fingers could barely curl as she held on, but why was she seeking sanctuary in this man’s shirt? He was one of them, one of the men who had invaded, attacked her city, taken her out of bed to abuse her. Yet, he was not the one who had done this to her. He had saved her. He had killed those horrible brutes to save her.
She let out a choked sob, only to be cradled closer to the man holding her. What was going on? Had he saved her merely to have her himself? Why did he not just take her on the road the way those others had done?
Livia heard a strange sound, like a group of men celebrating amongst each other. She looked over slowly, her head barely moving from his chest. It was a group of large cloth tents and horses tied to wooden posts all centered around various fire pits and places for eating and sitting. The rugged men who stood laughing and congratulating each other frightened Livia more than when that first terrible man had ripped her from her sleep. There were more men here than had been at the villa--more men to brutally violate her all over again. This man holding her… Would he continue to protect her? Or would he take advantage of her himself before he either tossed her to the other men or killed her?
Her tears had soaked the man’s shirt, but he did not seem to mind. He cradled Livia closely, the warmth coming from his body almost comforting. She felt her eyes growing heavy and closing against her will.
They snapped open when her back gently touched some sort of padding. Livia now found herself lying down on a makeshift bed inside one of those cloth tents. She looked around, attempting to keep her panic in control. .He wasn’t going to protect her anymore. She shivered and tears streamed silently down her cheeks as she sat herself up, pulling her knees into her chest. But, his eyes were soft and warm as he looked at her. They were almost sad. What was he waiting for?
“You do not have to be afraid of me,” he said quietly. “I want to help you.”
Livia’s brow furrowed a little with her confusion. The way in which his men had handled her and how he and his men had attacked the city did not support his comment at all. And now he had her alone in his tent.
He watched her carefully for a moment before he stood calmly and walked to one of the many chests in the tent. Livia watched with both fear and curiosity as he pulled out another tunic and brought it to the bed. she had no idea what he intended to do with that. Then, she watched as he grabbed a long strip of linen and a wide basin of water. She watched him wet the linen and jumped as the now chilled fabric touched her feet. But, even as bits of blood and dirt began to wash away, he grew frustrated and opted for another piece of cloth--this time what appeared to be a proper washing cloth.
“What is your name?” he asked quietly.
Livia did not know what to say. One of the barbarians from the tribes that had just looted her town only hours ago was now washing her feet and asking her name She had no idea what he could possibly do with her name. She was a nobody. Knowing her identity would do him no good.
He watched her carefully as he moved closer to her, then, wringing out the cloth, he gently placed it on her cheek. She could feel the bruise forming already from where she had been struck and the chilled water was soothing on her inflamed skin. Even through the cloth, Livia knew that his touch was gentle. It surprised her and she could not help but stare, trying to make sense of it.
The man lowered the cloth back into the water and returned it promptly to her face. “Telling me your name is not a crime,” he coaxed.
“It’s Livia,” she whispered. Livia was surprised at how thick her voice sounded. It must have been all of the crying. She would have thought, though, that all of her screams would have stolen her voice.
Finally, he breathed a small sigh of relief as he stared steadily and confidently at her. She stared back, still confused and still terrified, yet completely convinced that he was not going to hurt her. At least not at the moment.
“What do you want with me?” she asked quietly.
“I want to help you,” he repeated, continuing to clean her face and moving down over her neck and shoulders. She stiffened but he did not seem to notice as he continued to wash her.
“Why would you help me?”
He stopped washing her again, staring less confidently at her. Livia did not think he had an answer for her. He looked lost and confused, but not nearly as confused as Livia was feeling. She could not make sense of anything that had happened. The man before her now had been served at the dinner party last night only to turn around the next morning and take his hosts captive after killing his own men. Now he was treating one of his captives as if he cared about her and as if nothing had happened.
She looked up in panic as the front of the tent opened and panicked even more when one of the men from outside stepped in. His eyes flicked briefly over the scene before they landed on Livia’s confused and confusing guardian.
“Guntram,” he began. Was that her guardian’s name or some foreign greeting? Then she remembered that Caecilia had mentioned that this was his name “The girl is in the tent.”
Livia blinked. Of course she was in the tent...He was staring right at her!
Guntram thought for a moment. “Bring her here,” he ordered. The other man nodded and left them alone again. Livia did not understand. Who were they bringing here? Guntram turned back to her and smiled a little, an attempt at reassurance. “You can change into the tunic I brought out. I have socks as well to keep you warm.” He pointed to the fabric he had first pulled out of one of his chests. “And I have food for you to eat and wine to drink if you wish it.”
The tent opened again and the same soldier from only moments earlier entered, this time with Caecilia. Livia’s heart leapt into her chest, excitement and relief flooding her. Caecilia was alive! And, from the look of it, had not been hurt. Livia could barely believe her eyes.
Caecilia’s eyes lit up and she broke free of the man holding her rushing forward to kneel next to Livia. She practically pushed Guntram away from the bed, but he brushed it off easily. He stood smoothly and walked to the man, ready to walk out with him. “There is fresh clothing for her,” he stated quietly.
“Fine,” Caecilia responded dangerously. Livia looked between the two, wondering what would happen next. Caecilia wasn’t even looking at him and Guntram was returning the favor. His eyes were on Livia.
She lowered her gaze, choosing instead to stare at her legs. The cuts, bruises and blood only brought the tears back to her eyes and the hot wet pearls slowly streamed down her cheeks. Caecilia gently brushed them away with her hand, still not turning to Guntram, even as he left the tent. It was silence then as Caecilia sat with her, wiping Livia’s face clean of tears.
“He did not touch you, did he?”
Livia shook her head. “He washed my feet.”
“He washed your feet?!” The shock in her voice was understandable, as Livia did not really know how to explain it either.
“And my face,” she continued lamely.
Caecilia huffed as she reached for the water and cloth. “I won’t let him touch you again.”
She washed all of the blood and dirt from Livia’s skin and hair, her touch firm but cautious of Livia’s wounds. As the grime washed away, Livia could now see all that had been done to her, but she had no tears left to cry. Lifting her arms to peel her tattered dress from her body was difficult, exhaustion already settling into her joints where pain had yet to intensify. Guntram’s tunic was surprisingly soft for what Livia would think a barbarian would wear and it was a great deal thicker and warmer than her night clothes.
“Why did this happen?” Livia asked quietly, mostly to herself, but Caecilia shook her head.
“I am so sorry, Livia.”
She looked to her friend, at a loss for words “Why? This was not your fault.”
The perpetually strong Caecilia finally lowered her eyes, her cheeks flushing as tears welled in her eyes. It was a heart-breaking sight. There were no words to describe all of the emotions in Livia, no one phrase to explain--only images. Grey swirled violently down into a maelstrom of black, as fluid as water and as sharp as a blade. It cut through her so completely it incapacitated her. She could not even process everything that she was feeling.
She had no home. Her family had either been sold off or killed years earlier, so Castell Menaporium and Caecilia’s family were all that she had. Now, though, her town no longer belonged to Rome and any hopes of a future, no matter how base or low it would have been, was gone. There was nothing. The fact that Caecilia had survived in a relatively unharmed condition was a small comfort, but Livia knew the life that laid ahead of her mistress. Any captives taken in a war could only hope to face the fate of a save to the conquerer. A female slave generally only had one occupation.
The men outside the tent burst out into loud, joyous applause, shouting in a gutteral, wild language to each other. Caecilia stood slowly and walked to the tent’s entrance, carefully peeling the flap back. Livia craned her neck, trying to see the cause of the sudden surge in celebration, but she could only see the backs of soldiers framed by the sun.
“What is it?” she asked in a whisper.
She was not sure if Caecilia had heard her, it took so long to get an answer. “Merovech has brought Rogatus,” she said in a hushed, horrorstruck voice. “My father and Nerva as well.”
Livia’s heart sank and she knew the color had drained from her face. As if the situation was not bad enough, it only seemed to grow worse the longer she sat in his tent.